Starting university can feel daunting when every advert seems to feature a club night, a pub crawl or a discounted drinks package. If you do not drink, it is easy to wonder whether you will struggle to fit in.
Whatever your reason for avoiding alcohol, you deserve to feel comfortable without having to explain yourself. You can enjoy late nights, meet new people and build a busy social life while staying sober. You can also choose quieter activities if that is what you prefer.
The first step is finding the parts of Freshers’ Week that actually appeal to you.
Look beyond the club night adverts
Before buying an events wristband, check your university and students’ union’s official welcome programmes. Look for activities such as campus tours, film screenings, craft sessions, quizzes and daytime meet-ups.
Read individual event descriptions carefully. An event in a bar might welcome non-drinkers but still involve plenty of alcohol, while a specifically alcohol-free event offers a different atmosphere. Ask the organiser if you are unsure.
Choose a few activities you would enjoy even if you were going alone. Having something to do can make those first conversations easier than walking into a room where everyone is expected to mingle.
For help balancing social plans with inductions and practical tasks, see our guide to making the most of Freshers’ Week.
Keep your answer simple
You do not need an excuse for choosing a soft drink. A straightforward “I don’t drink” or “I’ll have a lemonade, thanks” is enough.
If someone asks why, share as much or as little as you want. You do not have to discuss your health, religion or personal history with somebody you have just met. Equally, there is no need to pretend you are taking a temporary break if you would rather be clear.
If someone keeps pushing, try: “No thanks, I’m happy with what I’ve got.” You can change the subject or move away if they will not leave it there. Accepting an invitation never commits you to drinking.
Find societies you want to return to
The freshers’ fair is a useful place to discover activities that continue after welcome week. Browse groups linked to your interests, whether that means photography, gaming, hiking, music or volunteering.
Ask what a typical meeting involves and whether the group runs socials without alcohol. A society’s main activity and its evening social programme can be quite different, so it helps to check both.
Try a taster session before paying for membership where that option is available. You do not need to join everything immediately.
Regular activities give you opportunities to see the same people again. That familiarity can take some pressure off making an instant connection during your first conversation.
Make small plans with new people
You do not need to organise a big event to get to know your flatmates or coursemates. Suggest cooking dinner together, going for coffee or taking a walk to explore the area.
Specific invitations are easier to respond to than a vague promise to meet up. “I’m going to the food market tomorrow at lunchtime; does anyone fancy coming?” gives people a clear plan.
If you live in halls, spend some time in shared spaces when you feel comfortable. Everyday conversations while making lunch can be a useful starting point.
If you commute, try arranging something between induction sessions or before travelling home. You should not have to stay out late to have opportunities to make friends.
Enjoy nights out if you want to
Not drinking does not mean you have to avoid dancing, live music or parties. If you like the atmosphere, go along and order whatever suits you.
You can also join flatmates for a chat before they leave, attend the beginning of an evening or head home when you have had enough. Sort out your journey back beforehand so you can leave independently.
Being sober does not automatically make you the group’s driver or permanent caretaker. You can look out for friends while keeping reasonable boundaries about what you take responsibility for.
Give friendships time
It can feel uncomfortable hearing stories about a night you missed, especially when everyone seems to be forming friendships quickly. But a busy group chat or a smiling photograph does not tell you how settled somebody feels.
Try judging your week by smaller moments: a conversation you enjoyed, somebody you would like to meet again or an activity worth returning to.
You do not have to find your closest friends before teaching starts. Seminars, society meetings and ordinary afternoons provide further chances to connect throughout the year.
Know where to find support
If social pressure or loneliness is making university difficult, contact your student wellbeing team or students’ union advice service. Check your institution’s website for the support available and how to access it.
Student Minds also provides information and resources for students’ mental wellbeing.
Freshers’ Week is an introduction to university life. Give yourself permission to try things, leave events you are not enjoying and spend time with people who respect your choices.
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